Another annoying defeat

  I was really excited about this one for quite a while, I was sure it would be the best thing I've ever done, but it was just getting worse and worse and I knew I couldnt make it better again because it was fundamentally flawed in some ways I dont fully understand. I was going to call this post something like "another bitterly painful defeat" but somehow it just didnt feel that painful when I gave up and maybe that is a good thing. Perhaps it shows that I really didnt love it that much, even though I was sure this was my best composition idea ever. I've already got loads of ideas about how to rework a lot of this, since even this is a reworking of failed drawings from two or three years ago.
 After I gave up, I quickly scribbled in details to suggest how it might have looked but it cant really show the real dynamics, emphasis and effects the thing was supposed to have.

 I really love doing these large scenes and I have so many ideas for them, in my notebooks I call them "epicscapes" as a shorthand. But they are tricky because I still cant always tell the difference between an impressive visual idea and an impressive visual idea I truly love and want to commit to; because there are lots of cliches in this type of imagery that are too easily leaned on. Although I feel I've delved deep into myself, it becomes apparent how there are still a lot of things I dont know about my cravings, how much I really like things, realizing I dont actually like some things that much etc...
 Perhaps the horses were something I really wasnt that into. Some of you must be familiar with images of giant horses on waves. And it is very easy to get attached to an image you want to do and not be sure of its real merits anymore. I want to talk about this stuff more later in further posts.

 Part of my inspiration for these "epicscapes" aside from obvious influences like Bosch, John Martin, Jack Kirby, Drulliet, Andrzej Masianis and many more, is symphonic music, especially those tracks that take up one side of a vinyl that prog bands do a lot and usually stand as their best achievements; like "Gates Of Delirium" by Yes, "Scheherazade" by Renaissance, "Heaven And Hell part one" by Vangelis and many more. I dont want them to become too predictable in shape/structure, because they should obviously never be boring.
 I thought with the failed drawing I had nearly really captured some of the qualities of those songs and I hope I can still keep those qualities in further attempts.
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 My computer is a bit shitty and it has been having trouble with google and blogger and telling me that the security isnt right, suggesting that this is a false version of the site, or that their security certificate has run out, sometimes not loading pages. I hope everything is fine if I ignore these warnings as errors because my computer has been screwing up in other ways.
 Has anyone else encountered these problems? I really need to use blogger and I still prefer it to other alternatives.