Thursday, August 12, 2010


Well, I kinda knew it would be. I strayed too far from the original so Robert at Covered couldn't use it, so that's that.

Oh, well.


Human Mollusk said...

Aw man, too bad they didn't like it. I think it's one your best actually! I just love the surreal madness you created by replacing every character on the original cover with Batman.

Aeron said...

Malcovich Malcovich!!! I love the batshit, er Batman's shit insanity of all the different batmans.

And I realize the text is changed but it's really obvious in comparison that this is a riff of that other cover, I'm surprised they aren't including it on there.

Aeron said...

If this was a comic the last panels should look like this..

Berserk Batman tied down to a giant table, decaying Batman vomiting into its mouth until Berserk Batman is engorged wtih so much bat puke that its body bloats up, breaking the ropes/clamps keeping it on the table. Another Batman shouts something and throws a batarang at Berserk puke inflating Batman's stomach, bursting it open. This unleashes a giant wave of hundreds of smaller embryonic Batmans across the room. All other Batmans in the room then scream in unison...


Aeron said...

Goddamnit Matthew, I can't stop thinking about Batmans! Thanks!

Ok, a follow up issue would have to open with some hump back Batman shoving the last of the fetal Batmans into a toilet, cramming its dank head in there and shoving their boot on its head to help push it into the toilet, giving it a good flush, smacking their hands together, belching, then hollering, Alright fellas, thas the last of em! Les go get some pizzaz! This would be followed by Batmans eating Bat Pizza and watching Batmans on tv wrestling.

Of course at some point the bat fetuses would mutate into deformed evil Batman monsters rising out of the sewers CHUD style and ruining the mood of Gotham city's population of law abiding bat tax paying Batman citizens.

The Batmans would realize they're no match for the mutated sewer Batmans and have to call Scientist Batman to invent a hybrid Gorilla Batman formula to inject into other unsuspecting Batmans off the street. Then they'd haul all the Gorilla Batmans into the sewers, let em duke it out with mutated monster sewer Batmans and hope for the best! The End!!!!!!!!!!!!

Human Mollusk said...

Ha! Those are the kind of Batman stories that would make me start buying the comics again.
You should offer this to DC!

Matthew Allison said...

Those are amazing suggestions for what would surely be the ultimate Batman story. Grant Morrison can bite it.

Just for the record, Robert at Covered really liked this piece but couldn't use it since he's rejected other submissions based on the fact that they were more mash-ups than "covers". I see his point and can't argue with it, so I'm gonna do another piece next week instead.

Aeron said...

Yeah! We'll show up at the DC Comics office smokin cigars and tellin em, alright fellas, nuff of the fancy shmancy Hooly Woo, lets get down to brass tax and make tha goods!

And Matthew, fuck it, I'll put that cover on Monster Brains and more of your stuff.

Ok, more Batsanity, Issue 3..

Batmans forget about the mess they left in the sewers, one of them shouts, Hey guys! What happened to the Batman gorilla freaks and the weirdo Batman Monster thingabobs? Another Batman blinks uncontrollably and yelps, the gorilla batmongrel wha nows? Another Batman groans out, Less go see!

Small group of Batmans with batflashlight walk into sewer and sneak around for awhile until they come across a pile of bones. They go further and find more bones, now piling up against the tunnel walls. They hear weird howls in the distance.

One of the Batmans cries out, Guys! What if the Gorilla Batmans ate all the Batman monsters and now they're eating each other and if they catch us, they'll eat us too!?! Quite yer gritchin ya Batbaby, shouts another Batman. Soon the come upon a large underground domed interior space, they sneak across a ledge high above. Below they see hundreds of Batman sewer monsters having sex with the Batman gorillas. One of the batmans screams, "OH MY BATMAN! THEY'RE GONNA MAKE BABY GORILLA BATMAN SEWER FREAK BATMAN MONSTER BATMANS AND NOTHING WILL STOP EM, NOTHINGS!" After that outburst the screaming Batman slips and falls below, eaten alive by a Gorilla Batman and Sewer monster Batman. The others scramble off the ledge and run down the tunnel towards an exit with a horde of Gorilla Batmans and sewer monster Batmans close behind. One of the Batmans shakes his batfist at the crowd behind them, yelling at the top of his batlungs, "Damn ye abominable Bat things, Damn yeeeee!!!!!!"

I need to go to sleep!

Paleo said...

Bleh, fuck the original, this one is genius.