Wednesday, January 02, 2008

My Fallow Year..

I haven't posted any artwork here for a long time. It's not for a bad reason, either; I haven't been making any.
I try though. I sure do. I get ideas. I sketch. I get excited about those ideas
And then I sit down to do it. To get it done. I'm not distracted, I'm not stressed or tired. It just doesn't look good to me.
It never really does. Some of it looks okay, I guess, but what good does that do anyone?
But I keep trying and trying, and it just..slowly..disentegrates...
And it doesn't seem worth it after a while, to be honest.
The next day I'll go in and look over what I'd done the previous day and it looks foreign, like some alien artifact; What was that guy thinking when he drew that?
I have no idea.
Flaccid. Fallow. Forget it.

And then I get to thinking about other medias, other forms I should go after; Maybe purely digital works, collage, maybe screen-printing .Maybe I should learn FLASH.
Maybe I should just write.
Maybe I should forget about feeling like I have to do any of this stuff. Don't other people live like that?
What does it mean to be "creative"? It sounds like fun, but vanity works like that too. What might I be missing out on while I'm burrowed away in a corner, scribbling and scratching?
Maybe I should get a dog.


I hope this next years proves to be more fruitful. Even if that means I leave all of this stuff behind. I


Aeron said...

Bah, you have great talent Luke. I'd suggest to just run with whatever creative medium you're currently exploring and don't stop until something comes from it. And don't turn away from your creative abilities. In a world full of people who can live by simply watching sports, American idol, shopping shitting sleeping and dying, there are far fewer of us with visions as concrete as yours that are capable of more. I can only suggest to just make something and regardless of whether it reaches any sort of goal to what you originally intended, run with the mutation that it becomes. If something doesn't work, doesn't jive, isolate that part and figure out how to do it better next time. I've drowned myself in the art of others for the past few years and I can tell you that your imagery has always been among the more interesting.

Mr. Sean said...

too much thinking! not enough doing! go for it luke! or maybe your new year's resolution was to not do, i don't know. whatever it is, do something, & do it with gusto because we only have one life to live!

Matthew Allison said...

I hear ya, Luke. I look at drawings I've done over the last few years and it seems like another person did them. How do I get back into the frame of mind that brought those images forth? How do I maintain the relaxed, uninhibited creative spurts which seem to be getting fewer and farther between? I understand what Sean is saying - the whole "JUST DO IT!" way of thinking - but sometimes I just don't think I'm wired like that. I may get a good idea but I'm continually second-guessing myself.

Oh, boy...good luck to you, Luke. Maybe this year will be our year.

Luke Pski said...

Thanks guys. I actually had a good drawing day today in the ol' sketchbook.
Yeah, I dunno where all this will take me. I'm actually not too concerned anymore with thinking too deeply about what I'm making. I have other outlets for that.
I just don't know. It isn't something that I'm willing too force in any way, which might be the big problem, but at the same time it tends to add up to a headache.
IF I want to take it anywhere, It's toward being more personal and more honest, without overt stylsitc affect.
-That might sound like bullshit to some of you- and it might be, but I just don't find much inspiration anymore from specific genre material, or any particular thing.
I think for a while there, I had a clearer picture of where the stuff I liked was and how I could fit into it in an interesting way and it's just not interesting to me anymore. ..
I'm under no illusions about finding some kind of magic conceptual key that'll break it all open, keep in mind, it's more about finding a groove again.
I think I'm getting there though..

Robert Adam Gilmour said...

None of these things are the same for anyone, but I was interested when you said about my last post that I should not worry about purity too much. But I cannot take that advice because that is the main thing that drives me. I would'nt even bother drawing if I was not attempting to get to the core truth of every concept idea and feeling I have. Art and creativity are far too complex to ignore any of the tiny things that make up the process.

I think it's the best thing in the world to aim towards and I think it's a shame with so much creator-owned driven stories and illos that people do not see that capturing something real gives art so much more.

If you are to listen to my suggestion, I think you need to think about what is at the core of all the things you love and try and recreate that in your art. Just think of a song you adore and try to draw it.

Luke Pski said...

Songs are simulations, Adam. So is every comic book, painting, etc. You aren't going to capture some absolute "purity" as it relates to "the core of everything you love" in a simulation.
You can ask questions, or try to remember something,etc., but you cannot "capture" it.

Robert Adam Gilmour said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Robert Adam Gilmour said...

But trying for the impossible is the best way I work. I simulate as best as I can. What do you call it when someone has achieved 90% of what they wanted, that is to me, near enough capturing it.

I would be wasting my time if I didn't try and get as close as I could to the essence of what makes something worth telling and sharing. I needed to think very hard to remember what made that dream so special, but I can only fail as best as I can, just telling the actual story is useless.
That's why so many dream comics are shit, people dont stop to think about how they can replicate the sensations that made it memorable.

zeke said...

Hi Luke,
I really hope you do kick your arse into doing some work, 'cause personally I think your work is fuckin' ace and it's really frustrated me that you dropped out of EBD and seem to have this crippling insecurity about your work. So get busy! and do something for my voida voida zine while you're at it!!!!

Ray Frenden said...

Hey Luke. Much of my previous year was spent toiling at a dayjob with a ridiculously long commute. I can relate to a concentrated effort to really get back into things. Good to see you posting.

Oh, what email address are you currently using? I wanted to email you about your printer question.

Luke Pski said...

Yeah, I can['t come up with your email address either-
Try me at LukePski(at)gmail(dotcom)

Jon Chandler said...

"whatever it is, do something, & do it with gusto because we only have one life to live!"

and that`s the weirdest thing too even if I agree because when we are all dead and gone who gives a shit?

"That's why so many dream comics are shit, people dont stop to think about how they can replicate the sensations that made it memorable."

yeah I would agree with that, I just had a dream this week that I thought would be a good start for something, and I think your words are well worth keeping in mind.