Thursday, May 10, 2007

ULTIMATE STRENGTH NOW!!! TOTAL GUARANTEE!!! NO IMITATIONS, ABSOLUTE CORE RESULTS!!!





LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I KNOW WHAT YOU'VE BEEN SAYING TO YOURSELVES. I'M TOO FAT, I'M TOO SKINNY, I DON'T FEEL HAPPY. WELL FORGET ALL YOUR WORRIES BECAUSE THE NEW WAY IS BORN. FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY WE PRESENT TO YOU NOT ONLY A NEW WAY OF LIFE BUT A TOTAL AND ABSOLUTE NEW WAY OF THINKING ABOUT YOURSELVES AND OTHERS! WE CAN TRANSFORM YOUR MORTAL BODY INTO A COMPLETE MACHINE CAPABLE OF ANY FEAT. YOU WILL FEEL THE POWER SURGE!!!! THE SOUND OF BONES SNAPPING WILL NO LONGER BE YOURS BUT OTHERS THAT GET IN YOUR WAY!!! IT IS ALL POSSIBLE NOW AND YES FOLKS, THIS IS THE REAL DEAL. DON'T BE TRICKED BY PREVIOUS PRODUCTS THAT OFFERED YOU SIMILAR RESULTS. THIS WILL PROVE BEYOND 100 PERCENT THAT YOUR PHYSICAL STRUCTURE IS A TRAIN OF MEAN LEAN DESTRUCTION MACHINE THAT WILL KEEP ALL YOUR ENEMIES ON THEIR TOES, AT LEAST UNTIL YOU BREAK THEM!!!! ACT NOW!!!!

9 comments:

Paleo said...

STOP IT.

Human Mollusk said...

Haha, these are hilarious Aeron! The latest one you added truly cacks me up.

Human Mollusk said...

Too bad he's always wearing a shirt...

aeron said...

Brace yourselves!!! http://www.pediatric-orthopedics.com/Topics/Fitness/Muscles/muscles.html

If you cut the veins open in his arms you'd see thousands of his tiny creepy grinning faces streaming through.

aeron said...

And all I wanted was to find some goddamn pictures of some M.U.S.C.L.E.S 80's toys but no, google has to show me the insanity that lurks behind the interweb.

Ray Frenden said...

Wow.

Sean the Sean said...

THIS IS IMPORTANT! AAARGH!!! ALBINO WEIGHT LIFTERS!!!

Luke Pski said...

Melanin is a muscle supresant, maybe?

Noah Berlatsky said...

That's really disturbing....